Animal Instincts

Today I am going to write about something I am very far from being proud of. In fact, its something I cannot stop thinking about which is probably a good thing as a lapse like this should have me thinking long and hard about my reaction.

Today while riding the bus with my toddler daughter sitting on my knee, I had the misfortune to sit next to one of those particular types of arseholes who thinks the bus is their own private lounge room.

This guy was man-spreading and so I asked him to sit normally. His response was along the lines of “I’m comfortable so kindly F*$& off!”. That sort of language in front of my impressionable daughter is bad enough but when he continued leaning in to me when going around the bends as well as letting his knee deliberately bump me for the whole journey really set me off. Its at this time, I should have been the better man. Sadly, to my own shame, I was not.

When it came time to depart, I leaned in closely and very quitely whispered to the guy exactly what level of F*$&wit he was and turned to get off, with my daughter in my arms. It was at this time that this hero pushed me in my back, forcing my daughter and I to fall into the seats opposite. Hence the animal spirits of the title. I let me daughter stay seated and turned around to absolutely clock this guy when another passenger got between us. Clearly words were exchanged and despite my martial arts training, I was ready to discard all rational thought and go to town on this guy but the passenger between us, plus the fact the arsehole was leaving by the rear doors stopped that. I am not saying it was elegant or that I am more noble that him, only that the situation quickly defused before it turned into one of those umpleasant youtube videos we see of two men wrestling on the ground over hurt egos.

By this time, my daughter was sobbing immensely and I realised just what sort of Neanderthal idiot I was being so picked her up and calmed her down. Not ideal at all and although the whole situation was started by some insensitive jerk, I was very far from being the better man. There was no high road taken.

Lesson learnt? By all means, respond to danger to your children quickly and appropriately, but once that danger is past, ratchet down quickly and try to be the type of guy you would want her to marry, rather than the type of guy she fears.